358. AMUSING BRAND NAMES YOU WON’T BELIEVE WERE USED IN THE PHILIPPINES, Part 1

(This article originally appeared in the online magazine Esquire Philippines www.esquiremag.ph, on 11 Feb. 2019, under the title "Funniest Filipino Brand names in the 20th Century", commissioned from the author, Alex del Rosario-Castro)

What’s in a brand name? A brand name defines and differentiates a product from its competitors in the eyes of the customer. So important are brand names that they can make or break a product—an urban legend has it that a car maker once named its new vehicle “Nova”, not knowing that “no va” meant “not going” in Spanish.

Would you go to a coffee house called “Cargo House” or “Pequod”? Those names by the way, were considered for your now favorite Starbucks. Then, there’s Lithiated Lemon, a lemon-lime drink introduced in 1929. But when renamed 7-Up, sales increased six-fold. On the other hand, there are perfect brand names like “Jollibee”, “Hapee” and “Mr.Clean” that evoke positive images of joy, clean living and fun.

Before marketing experts offered their brand-naming services, many makers of products just coined their own brand names, resulting in amusing, unusual and sometimes, weird-sounding names.

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ANALGINA: Brand Name for a Medicine Syrup for rheumatism and headaches.

ANALGINA is the name of this cure-all also indicated for diarrhea, neuralgia, cramp, breastache, backache, indigestion and cough. At first impression, it has a name seemingly coined from two delicate parts of the human female anatomy—well, at least that’s how it reads.  But the first part of the brand name is derived from ‘analgesia” , which means “relief from pain”.  With the  suffix added however, ANALGINA, as a brand name, doesn’t evoke anything medicine-y; rather it sounds like a disease!  In 1929, you can buy ANALGINA over-the- counter at Botica Insular along Quesada St. in Manila. Just don’t say the name out loud.

ASEMBLEA FILIPINA: Brand Name for : Local cigarettes

Why would someone name a cigarette brand after the Philippine Assembly (ASEMBLEA FILIPINA) ? Well, Simeon Roque y Compania,  maker of these “cigarillos” in Betis, Pampanga, just did. In fairness, the inauguration of the Philippine Assembly in 1907 was a major event, as that gave a glimmer of hope to Filipinos for self-rule. To the local cigarette maker maybe, that historic milestone is worth celebrating with a puff of a “cigarillo” stick. The cigarette label of “ASEMBLEA FILIPINA” cigarettes even contain a short poem in the vernacular, exhorting customers Philippine-made products, not imported ones—and exhortation to nationalism, at a time we needed it most.

ATOMIC / ATOMI-CHLOR: Brand Name for :  Pomade / Pesticide

The atomic age began when the first nuclear bomb was detonated in 1945 that led to the bombing of Hiroshima and Nagasaki  which ended World War II. It also started our fascination with atomic designs and organic forms,  inspired by atoms, missiles and rockets, that found their way in product designs and even in brand names. Such is the case with two different products sold and manufactured locally in the 50s .The first is ATOMIC Solid Brilliantine, a men’s pomade brand available in glass jars. What can this pomade do? Will it split the atoms in your hair?  Will you be positively charged? We may never know as this product had a short shelf life.

Another is ATOMI-CHLOR, a liquid product formulated to rid pet dogs and your lawn of  fleas, ticks and insects. This Chlordane-based product came out in 1951. One is wont to wonder if ATOMI-CHLOR had radioactive properties that killed these pests. But we now know that Chlordane is a chemical compound classified as an organic pollutants hazardous to animals, and even human health. Oops.

BAGONG LITAO: Brand Name for Local cigarettes

Another strange name for a cigarette brand is “BAGONG LITAO” (Newly-Appeared), locally made and rolled in Pampanga by a certain Martin Torres. Even the front panel illustration is rather odd: it shows 3 Filipina women in baro’t saya—and they are not even smoking.  For cure, BAGONG LITAO is a reference to the new arrival of the product. But wouldn’t the name become obsolete in a year or so? Because by then, it will no longer be new. It will no longer be BAGONG LITAO, right? Hmmm, I need a smoke. 

BALATKINIS: Brand Name for a Skin Ointment

Katialis is the most successful and most popular local skin ointment in history, with a formula developed by Dr. Lorenzo C. Reyes. Its name was derived from Kati+ Alis (Itch Away) . But the actual concoction was done by his chemist brother, Manuel, who mixed the ointment at the Locre Laboratorio in San Lazaro, Manila. After a decade, Manuel struck it on his own and developed his own product in  that, like Katialis, promised to eradicate: “galis, buni, pigsa, tagihawa, butlig, anan,pekas alipunga at sugat na maliliit”.  Manuel also named it like Katialis—combining Balat + Kinis to come up with the brand name BALATKINIS  (Smooth Skin).  Launched in 1947, BALATKINIS, the copycat product with a copycat name proved to be short-lived.